#if this doesn't happen I will get positively surprised and it ill be great <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[fan-of-chaos]

So like. My prediction for the next jjk chapter is that it will ignore anything related to Gojo and explain nothing about it and jump straight into the Sukuna vs Kashimo fight.

[naamahdarling]

Hi. I’m feeling sad too, I think that tends to happen late at night. At least we can be sad together lol

Yeah it's just a 3:00 thing. Literally I call it the "three o'clocksies". One of the best mental health things I've ever done for myself is learning to look at the time, and if it's after 3:00 a.m., I just tell myself I will put those feelings away until the next day, and I can feel them then if I have to. It doesn't work every time, but it works about 70% of the time, which is a lot better than the maybe 15 or 20% of the time I managed to deal with it by just powering through. Big fan.

Learning to approach strong negative emotions not arising directly from a currently unfolding crisis as temporary, and strong positive emotions as gifts and memories that I will get to have later has been really helpful. "All things pass" can be barbed, because that means good stuff too will pass. But that's just the nature of things, and we have a lot more control over what memories and feelings we keep with us than we think we do.

That is part of why I try so hard to find goodness when badness is around me. Because it really does make bad things easier to bear. I don't mean like spinning bad things into good things, or saying that bad things happen for a reason, I just mean things like moments of common kindness between strangers (which are actually a thing we can create ourselves instead of waiting to have happen to us or to observe), or a beautiful sunset the day you break your ankle, or the very very small child in the corner at urgent care who won't stop talking very articulately and at great length about how much he fuckin' loves chicken nuggets, or the person who took one look at me and didn't charge me anything at the gas station the night we lost Raleigh, no questions asked.

These moments aren't actually insignificant. They're the fabric of our lives, and by observing them even in the bad moments, we prepare ourselves to see them the rest of the time, it makes things easier. It's like putting flowers in a hospital room inside your mind. I may feel like dying, but somebody brought a miniature goat named Tom Brady to PetSmart with them and I got to pet him.

I'm not full of shit here, I have really been through it this past year. It really is worth it to struggle to look and see ordinary life around you as full of small surprises and little kindnesses. It isn't about some kind of bullshit healing through positivity thing (I think "positivity" as it is pushed at us is toxic bullshit) it's not going to cure your mental illness or whatever, it isn't going to take you out of the terrible circumstances fucking you over, it isn't going to undo your trauma, it's just seeing all the small good things that are easy to overlook, and realizing that some days, seeing the small good things really can be enough. That isn't pathetic or bleak, that isn't trying to fill your belly with nothing but crumbs and telling yourself you're lucky, it's just an underlying kind of warmth that it would be really unfortunate to not look for and allow yourself to feel.

It's a way of inhabiting life deliberately, and not just suffering through it. And it's taking me years to develop, and no, I can't always hold on to it, it isn't something that you can be successful at 100% of the time. But man, things got a lot better for me when I started taking pictures of the sky almost every time I go outside, and admiring strangers' questionable fashion choices, and wondering about things like what kind of person would buy this puzzle featuring a John Deere tractor, and enjoying small brown birds having a dust bath next to the drive-thru at Sonic, or taking pictures of interesting graffiti, or noticing the single mirror-spangled drag queen platform high heel on the side of the road, all of that. Things got better for me when I started to really care that I got to see those things.

IDK this got long. But I think...it's all right to be sad, I think sometimes we just have to be even when we aren't sure why. And that can and should coexist with the rest of the world being out there and ready to be seen, even through tears.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hiii~ hope you all are well!! for ITMF, do you know of any fics where lwj or wwx is chubby/fat? and maybe some body worship of their fatness?

check out the chubby!Wei ying tag!

Do Not Eat More Than Three Bowls by GalliumYttriumArsenicFluorine (E, 6k, LWJ & WWX & OCs, Belly Kink, Weight Gain, Stuffing, belly stuffing, Feeding Kink, Feeder LWJ, Feeder WWX, Feedee LWJ, Feedee WWX, fat appreciation, pudge love, Body Worship, Body Image, Body Positivity, Consensual Kink, Verbal Humiliation, Humiliation kink, POV Alternating, Feedism, unintentional weight gain, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Chubby LWJ, Chubby WWX, Light Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, Switch wangxian, WIP)

🔒 in your hands by everythingispoetry (T, 11k, wangxian, modern, Fluff, chubby LWJ, Weight Gain, Body Image, Body Positivity, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Secret Marriage)

Cessation by devinokaze (T, 6k, wangxian, canon divergence, YLLZ WWX, fluff, LXC pov) mentioned slightly in regards to LWJ

🔒 everything’s going to be discovered by everythingispoetry (M, 98k, wangxian, F/F, modern cultivation, reunions, soft wangxian, family feels, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, disability) this is a pretty heavy cisswap fic involving disabling injury, so be mindful of that but it does feature chubby lwj and a positive attitude toward that from the important people.

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2. Hello! ITMF mute!Wei Wuxian? Preferably canon era. Thank you!

you're the right time (at the right moment) by carmiemaybe (glazedlilies) (G, 1k, wangxian, Modern, Post-War, Soldier LWJ, mute WWX, Historical, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Feels, Crush at First Sight, Pining, Short & Sweet, Romance)

The Untamed Retelling by DCandMARVELnerd (T, 86K, WIP, WangXian, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, Abuse, Retelling, Canon Rewrite, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Friendship, Developing Friendships, Love, Fluff, Angst and Feels, Selectively Mute WWX)

Muted by Akabara_13 (T, 46k, WIP, WangXian, Muteness, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Angst, For Want of a Nail)

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3. Itmf fics where lxc (or another character, just not people who already knew about truth of bm etc) become aware of the dangerous lying politics that lead to wwx demise (untamed verse) as its happening. And it's like a political intrigue. Like I know there are some 'x-person goes to the burial mounds and sees the truth', but what about fics where people find out because of a dif reason?

ask until your heart gets it right by Stratisphyre (G, 6k, XuanLi, Implied XiYao, Background WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Humor, Unreliable Narrator JZX, Minor surprise pairing at the end, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies) not sure it quite fits, but here's a (great!) fic where JXZ wins JGY's loyalty and the latter kinda spills the beans on the Qiongqi Path stuff. It doesn't get into the politics that much though.

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4. I'm in a mood to know what you all are reading right now :D

backfire by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 53k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, one-sided MXY/WWX, MXYY/NMJ, modern, BDSM AU, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM etiquette, Sadism, Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow WWX, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, Nonsexual BDSM, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, Jealous WWX, Touch-Starved WWX, Professional Dominant WWX, Sex Worker WWX, Gentle Dom LWJ, Mean Dom LWJ, Oblivious LWJ, Past WC/WWX, Minor JGY/WWX, Mentioned WWX/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Wangxian, MXY Also Gets a Happy Ending, the tags are scary but i promise there's some lightheartedness too, wangxian love one another so much, WWX is healed by the power of nonsexual bdsm and friendship, and then gets bdsm'd quite sexually and happily by the love of his life, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, WIP) currently reading backfire over one squidgeworld!

🔒🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex) Rereading this!

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5. Itmf what is ur fav unexpected combo yet coolest crossover or fusion fic that you've read? Bonus points if it's not crossed with another MXTX work. I once read a rise of the guardian fusion that was very neat. Esp the begining.

🔒 and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They’re Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🔒 some lovely, perilous thing by varnes (E, 24k, WangXian, Inception Fusion, Criminal Associates To Lovers, Heist Case Fic)

Wei Wuxian Makes a Wish series by natcat5 (M, 119k, wangxian, major character death, underage, madoka magica au, modern w/ magic, time travel, high school au, body horror, self-harm, angst w/ bittersweet ending, time loop, mental instability, suicidal thoughts) have not stopped thinking about this fic since I read it

If also love to see that rise of the guardians fic 👀👀👀

Castle in the Wastes by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 41k, wangxian, Howl’s Moving Castle fusion, personified Chenqing, canon typical violence)

Diplomatic Incidents by Ariaste (M, 35k, WangXian, IB/DP, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Getting Together, Linguistics, Translation Spells, canon-typical borderline alcoholism, Fluff, a touch of angst for spice, being in love but not admitting you want to sleep together, Versus, sleeping together but not admitting you’re in love, Post-Canon, post-canon for MDZS anyway, during-canon for DAI)

Wei Wuxian is the Actual Bogeyman (no, really) by chatonnerie (T, 57k, WangXian, Rise of the Guardians AU, Crack, not gonna lie, i mean they literally call wwx the bogeyman my poor brain could not resist, TW:Death, I mean, Jack Frost cannonically dies)

🔒 Come by it Honestly by ladyshadowdrake (M, 25k, Geraskier, WangXian, The Witcher Crossover, Crossover, Adventure)

🔒Light Bearing Lord and The Patriarch by Anonymous (G, 3k, WangXian, Rise of the Guardians Crossover, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Relationship Reveal, Established Relationship, kind of crack, Crack Treated Seriously, WWX and LWJ are Guardians, but not just of Childhood, Implied Sexual Content, WWX and LWJ being Shameless)

🧡 Of Ghosts and Heroes by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 51k, AS & WWX, AS/YH, WangXian, BNHA/MHA Crossover, Dimension Travel, POV Outsider, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst)

❤️ More Questions than Answers by tiniestawoo (T, 2k, Sterek, WangXian, Teen Wolf Crossover, Curses, Curse Breaking, Modern with Magic, (alternate for CQL I GUESS?), Full Shift Werewolves, Beta DH, Demonic Cultivation, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack Crossover)

The Return Of the (Yiling) Sith by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 23k, WangXian, SongXiao, Star Wars Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, The Force, Kidnapping, Pining, IN SPACE!) (Link in #7)

mountains, we met by fruitys (E, 79k, WangXian, Historical, The Handmaiden (2016) Fusion, Enemies to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Secret Identity, Touch-Starved, Sharing a Bed, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, falling for the person you’re supposed to be swindling: the love story, getting revenge on the people who manipulated you: the saga, and some cws……., Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Emotional Manipulation, Blow Jobs, Rimming)

A Long Road by Vathara (T, 187k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Scheming NHS, Necromancy, Fire, Ghosts, Accidental Child Acquisition, is it an accident if the ghosts keep bringing them?) a Heralds of Valdemar fusion! Caveat that it's necessarily butchered MDZS canon to fit into the Valdemar fantasy series, but it works.

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6. Are there fics where Madam Yu just really gets told off for how she treats people, though especially Wei Ying? I'd especially love to see Lan Zhan do it. Thanks!! @eebee

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, lesbian wq rights, Music, Orchestra, platonic and romantic pining) it's pretty small part (but w big impact) near the end but it's there

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7. Hii ! For this time's itmf , I'm looking for a fic with a concept of there being a 'chosen one'

Kinda similar to this fic "So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko" . It can be alternative universe or Canon , thank you♡ @karinasnowwwx

The Return Of the (Yiling) Sith by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 23k, WangXian, SongXiao, Star Wars Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, The Force, Kidnapping, Pining, IN SPACE!)

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8. itmf a well-written role reversal fic where lan wangji dies instead of wei wuxian/ jiang yanli. Basically lan wangji dies, and the fallout

If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

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9. Are there any fics in which wangxian fight/quarrel a lot?

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10. itmf lwj being roofied @jawla-mukhi

To keep you safe by Lookeri (T, 3k, wangxian, rape/non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Protective WWX, Drunk LWJ, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, No War AU, Hurt LWJ, WIP) Only one chapter posted so far though

The Lines of your Soul by athena_crikey (M, 24k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, rape/non-con, Modern with Magic, photographic cultivation, sects as fucked up as ever, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, for blackmail purposes, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, stigma/judgement, Trauma, Emotional Whump, hurt/comfort, Yu-furen back on her bullshit, politics over people, WWX will always have a traumatic past, Panic Attacks, everyone! needs! THERAPY!)

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11. Hello! I was wondering if anybody knows a fic where LWJ and LXC have to switch places (the concept was mentioned in another fic I've read and I'd love to see what them attempting to act like the other could look like)

Two-Faced by nirejseki (Not Rated, 2k, LXC & NHS, LXC & JGY, Mistaken Identity, early reveal) probably not exactly what you're looking for but maybe worth a look. LXC pretends to be his brother as ?a prank? and it goes disastrously off the rails

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12. Hello! I'm in the mood for a wangxian fic that focuses on Lan Wangji's grief after Wei Wuxian's death and then his feelings throughout their reunion

hold me close by gentil-minou (Flyingsuits) (E, 13k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Porn with Feelings, Emotional Sex, Grief, Mental Health Issues, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, tender husbands being tender, 13 years of grieving followed by a life time of healing from it, Do you ever think about how lwj spent 13 years thinking he’d never get this, and then he gets it and how hard that must be to accept, because how could it be real how can he prove to himself, that it’s not all just another dream waiting to shatter is he being cruel to wy, for not believing it some days?, no? just me?, Character Study, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Working Through Grief With Sex, Grieving Your Husband While Fucking Him)

New Perspective Series by mrcformoso (T, 35k, WangXian, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Fatherhood, Regrets, Flashbacks, POV LWJ, LWJ-centric, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Pining LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī Needs a Hug, Character Development, Dead WWX, Introspection, LWJ is Bad at Feelings, Character Study, Regretful, LWJ Breaking Toxic Cycles, Canon Compliant, LWJ in Seclusion, Post-LWJ in Seclusion, Child LSZ)

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13. hii, thank u for doing imtfs, can I get some fics which deal w additcion?? thanks @mercurygirlwt28

Say More by lettered (E, 95k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, modern, Pining, Slow Burn, non-graphic drug use, non-graphic withdrawal, Drug Addiction, one suicidal thought, negative thought, wwx struggles with Mandarin and feeling connected to Chinese culture, Compulsory Heterosexuality, wwx kisses a girl, Sexuality Crisis, Gay Panic, some gender confusion and questions without serious gender questioning, incorrect definition of omnisexuality, Open Relationships, Masochistic Fantasies, non-graphic sadomascochistic realities, humiliation fantasies, Submission Fantasies, some D/s realities, one condomless blowjob, suggestions of some unhealthy co-dependence, Possessive Behavior, Slight Consensual Non-Consent, Frottage, the open relationship is not wangxian)

something so flawed and free by verseau (E, 59k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Graduate School, Dom/sub, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Sexual Submission, Kink Negotiation, Biting, Overstimulation, Cock Warming, Consensual Non-Consent, Spanking)

Lifelong Confidant by saved (E, 42k, wangxian, modern, Fluff and Angst, Past Character Death, Families of Choice, Explicit Sexual Content, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, playing fast and loose with basic real life things, references to past alcoholism/substance abuse, Alcohol)

Cloud Nine Series by mssdare (E, 86k, WangXian, Modern AU, YouTube, Depression, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Substance Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Suicidal Thoughts, ASMR, youtuber LWJ, youtuber WWX, Social Media, Getting Together, getting better, Happy Ending, Intercrural Sex, Shower Sex, Sleepy Cuddles, Videoblogging, Sexual Dysfunction, Erectile Dysfunction, Medication, Touching, Anal Sex, Domestic Bliss, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, side effects of medication, Slow Pace)

🔒 watching my heart go round by typefortydeductions (E, 77k, wangxian, modern, developing relationship, grief/mourning, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, implied/referenced suicide, mental health issues, past alcoholism, dom/sub, BDSM, impact play, consensual non-con, dirty talk, objectification kink, dom LWJ, sub WWX, building a family, the work of getting better, sex in SSRIs, happy ending, breathplay, rimming, orgasm denial, safe word use)

The Life and Times of a Rock Star in Crisis by Hammsters (M, 62k, wangxian, Celebrity au, Modern, Hurt/Comfort, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Rehabilitation, Dysfunctional Family, Memories, Fluff and Angst, Rock Star WWX, Librarian LWJ, Libraries, Social Media, Paparazzi, WWX has earned his highly publicized mental breakdown, he worked hard for it, Grief/Mourning, Mental Instability, JC being a good brother)

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14. heyyy thanks for all your hard work! itmf any fics that involve lwj being jealous. :) @aquiver-heart

The Epic Lie of the Yiling Laozu and His Wife by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 9k, WangXian, XianQing, NieYao, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Misunderstandings, Lies, Jealousy, A really tiny bit of jealous LWJ and JC, Assisted reproduction (mentions of insemination with talismans and other things), Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied Mpreg, yiling wei, WWX Has a New Golden Core, More like a red core, BAMF WWX, Canon Divergence, dialogue heavy in some parts, A little angst, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian)

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15. hello again! thank you for your most recent itmf post. i’ve been thoroughly spoiled with amazing fics.

i’ve been reading 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark for the first time and seeing nie huaisang and wei wuxian’s friendship has inspired me to return to ask for more. the nie clan’s secret cultivation techniques always make me think of how invaluable wei wuxian’s knowledge or help could be to them if only a certain order events happened during canon. so, i was wondering if there were any canon divergent wangxian fics out there that specifically touch on nie huaisang and wei wuxian’s mutually beneficial friendship? preferably pre-nightless city fall/burial mounds raid? anything will do but i really enjoy seeing nie huaisang’s genius completely f*** over jin guangyao specifically. (although jin guanshan, su she, jin zixun, or xue yang downfalls are also lovely to see as well.) thank you in advance ♥️

no one ever said the single-plank bridge had to be walked alone by rosemu (T, 124k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect au, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Fluff, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Slow Burn, LWJ and WWX get to be Dads together, the healing power of homoerotic flute/guqin duets, Happy Ending) NHS helps out the Burial Mounds settlement & absolutely destroys JGY

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence) Has WWX dropping in on NHS & helping NMJ with the Nie Clan's cultivation issues

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16. Hiiiiiii 👋, Firstly, I love this blog so much - it's really amazing. For the next itmf blog, i was wondering if there are any fics where:

A] Wwx is overprotective of lwj and possessive. It can be in a dark wwx vibe but more so like just normal wwx being so defensive and concerned about lwj in front of others.

B] Some royalty au where wx is in an arranged marriage and wwx is smitten

C] any fics where wwx did something wrong and has to work hard to get lwj back (they dont have to break up/ separate- maybe he just has to work to get back in lwj's good graces)

- please let all have happy endings with wx as the main couple

Thaaaank you💕

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17. Hey, guys! For ITMF, are there fics where WWX has to rebuild his spice tolerance in MXY's body? I refuse to believe that they both have the same tolerance when WWX likes his food saturated to a point that other spice-enjoyers think is a bit much & MXY barely got food at all. (Bonus if he now finds Lan food tasty & is just So Offended about that. Extra bonus if his alcohol tolerance is gone too.) @thispatternismine

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[selfspinninglies]

hi happy pride I wrote gays

word count: 2765 [<- what possessed me to write this much how did I do that]

tws/cws: implied/discussed murder, desecration of a body, not technically cannibalism but they do eat a person [<- not graphic]

notes: I wrote 2530 words of this in 2 days somehow . The oc hyperfixation is real . Also some of this might not make sense cause I still haven't wrote an experimental plot summary yet sooo oops . They're both so oblivious it makes me ill anyway enjoyy

1-2 shifts slightly on the couch. Its not the most comfortable place to lay down, but he doesn't feel like getting up and into bed (or moving at all for that matter). His vessel feels like it's going to rip itself apart. He should've went hunting a few days ago, but he's gotten inconsistent. And now this was a result. He buries his face in the throw pillow next to him. Stupid rapidly deteriorating body.

After a few minutes of nothing he feels a nudge on his foot.

"Scoot. You're taking up the whole couch laying like that."

1-3 is the owner of the complaint. He didn't even have to look to know it was them. It was the only person who made sense, since the two lived together and he would've heard the door. Its not like they get visitors anyway.

He sighs in an exaggerated fashion, unclear if this actually bothers him or not, moves over a little and tucks his knees in to make room. He would've been more bitchy about it if he wasn't exhausted and if the only other place to sit in the apartment wasn't a mattress.

1-3 rolls their eyes at his antics. They glance at him for a moment. "You look like shit." They say flatly.

He makes a small angry noise in response, not feeling like using regular words. He looks up. Surprising nobody, 1-3 also looks like shit. Neither of them ever look that great, but apparently he looked bad enough to warrant a comment.

Was it concern? It was always hard to tell with them. Their face didn't change that much. Or maybe it was clear as day and 1-2 was just terrible at reading people.

He sits up into a horribly slouched position, one arm looped around the armrest and the other dangling oddly. He gives a glance to 1-3, who is watching him carefully. They probably know what's coming. They can see the rivulets of cracks piercing his shell. The two go through this weird routine often.

He exhales sharply, opening his mouth and willing the words in his brain to crawl out and onto his tounge. A few seconds of nothing. Yep. Not happening.

Grabbing 1-3's hand, he lifts it and turns it carefully, examining the similar darkness enveloping their fingertips. He listens and feels for a flinch or glare or hitch of breath, which usually indicates that they aren't in the mood for his antics, but he catches nothing. In fact, they're barely looking, head turned the other way, pupils facing him.

They've only been living together for a few months or so and they're so used to each other. It makes him feel weird.

He moves 1-3's hand up to his mouth bites down. He must have done it too hard, since he hears a quiet "shit" from 1-3. They take their hand from his and turn to face him. "I'd prefer if you asked next time." They say, a little sharply, though they never hold grudges over little things like this.

1-2 shakes his head and puts a smirk on his face, which earns a scoff from 1-3. They get up to leave anyway.

He tugs on their longsleeve, using it to pull himself up. They look confused for a second before an incredulous expression takes over and they shake their head.

"You are not coming with me. You cannot move well and don't have the energy for it. Sit."

1-2 rolls his eyes, but sits back down anyway. He knew that they were right, though he would rather explode right at that moment than admit that.

"Don't do anything stupid." They nod and give a half-hearted wave as they exit the [truthfully] cramped space. The door closes with a nice click.

He listens to 1-3's footfalls as they walk down the hall, as if he expected them to turn around and come back. He wasn't sure if he wanted that or not. Anything was better than sitting around and doing nothing, even if they usually didn't take long.

He gets bored and decides to heave himself to the bathroom. His feet drag against the floor and his posture sags. It doesn't particularly hurt, besides the dull aches where his vessel splits from neglect, it just feels like every ounce of energy has been stolen out of his strange hands.

After pulling himself up to the mirror, he examines himself. The cracks under his eyes look wide enough to stick a finger through it. He doesn't try. The thought of it makes him feel gross.

His hair is disheveled and overgrown. His bangs fall on his eyes slightly and stick in different directions, stuck there by natural grease and some brown stuff that's probably blood. It isn't his. He doesn't have any. The last time he went hunting was a few weeks ago. Had it really been that long since he showered? Fuck, he was gross.

He laughs. Its a weird, crackly sound, but it's rare so he lets it escape his throat. Nobody was here to listen to it. 1-3 really was right, he absolutely looked like shit.

He slinks back to the couch and passes out as soon as he hits the cushions.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------

1-3 sighs, slumping against the wall of an alley. The world is humid and oppressive, or maybe that's the blood soaked into most of them talking, a mix of their's, One's, and the body on the pavement's.

The unexpected run-in made this outing take longer than it usually would have. They don't have anything to tell the time on them, so they can only guess, but it's likely been around an hour. God, why did they have to see One when they were in a hurry?

They shake their head. The body. They have to take care of that. They didn't want to. It was the last thing they wanted to do. Just don't think about it. Don't think about anything, just grab the knife-

It takes longer than they would like to put themself into the thoughtless haze that helps with the process. This isn't a person, it is a creature, this is necessary, if not for you then for Two. Remember what he looked like? Shit, that's what you said.

Swish thud swish thud swish thud swish thud swish- over and over again.

There's even more blood now. Less of it belonging to them. It's on the wall, the floor, in the air, in their vessel, in their soul, eating them alive. It's disgusting. If they had insides they would have thrown them up by now. The world smells and tastes and feels of viscera, it's made of it.

The meat is in neat pieces now. The knife is put into a pocket. The bones and unnecessary bits will be left there to be picked off by something that can use it. They gather the pieces they cut into a bag and stand, swaying like they were trying to be pulled in different directions by the universe.

They take their sweater off and tie it around their waist to get some of the flesh off of them, unveiling a slightly oversized white t-shirt. It's cold, but they'd rather deal with that then the feeling of your clothes being soaked with remnants and wafting into your nose and tounge.

They shuffle through the bag and take a piece between their fingers. Don't think about it, just eat it, you have to-

The only taste that registers is the sharp, metallic tang of blood. They swallow it quickly. It always makes them feel sick, the texture, smell, taste, and the weight of taking a life. But they have to. It's the only way.

Fuck, they hate it all.

Taking a breath, they steel themself and begin walking down the street and back to the building. They aren't worried about being spotted, nobody is ever here. The silence presses itself into their body. Bricks in walls are staring at them, singing, guilty, guilty.

The walk is short, as horrid as it is. The apartment is close to many places. It's convenient for hunting. The bag swings awkwardly in their needlessly tight grip.

They knock on the door in their usual pattern, opening it and walking inside. They set the bag on the counter like it's groceries.

"Two. I'm home." They announce, though the noise of the door opening and rustling of the bag should have alerted him. Strange. Knowing him, he's probably long passed out. Still, they look over the couch to check.

Exactly like they thought. He's sprawled out awkwardly on the couch (he'll probably be sore if he stays like that) out cold. He always slept like this, which made it especially annoying to share the mattress with him. They still let him, though. It always feels weird now when he isn't there.

"Two." They say again, walking over to him and poking his face. "C'mon. Hey, wake up." This probably won't work. 1-2 is an obnoxiously heavy sleeper.

Surprisingly, they see 1-2's eyes flicker open.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------

1-2 stirs, feeling fingers tap against his cheek. Ones that kind of look like his, with the way they sharpen into claws and darken at the ends. It's 1-3. Right. They left. They're back. What time was it?

He inhales and smells something weird. Quickly recognizing it as blood and probably a bit of sweat, he looks up at 1-3 questioningly. He points a finger at them and starts talking, voice still groggy from sleep.

"Blood. 'Sit yours?"

1-3 shrugs, making a so-so motion with their hand. "Some of it is, some of it isn't." Their voice is oddly nonchalant.

"What happened?" He asks, sitting against the cushions.

"Had a run in with One. I'll tell you later."

1-2 just nods. As long as he finds out eventually, he doesn't care when. He's also curious as to what 1-1 was doing anyways. The last time anyone saw her was in the lab, before all of them were released.

1-3 sits next to him again and crosses their legs, hands in their lap. He doesn't know how they sit like that, it doesn't look comfortable in the slightest.

He fiddles with his hair awkwardly. He really needed to do something with it. He remembers his reflection in the mirror. Too long. He puts a strand between his fingers and continues to twist it.

1-3 seems to notice. "Do you want me to cut it for you?" They ask.

"You can cut hair?"

"I've done it before. Did my own." They gesture to their own hair.

1-2 examines it for a second, leaning forward a bit. It looks pretty good, actually. He doesn't know if he trusts them to do it, his always picky about his hair. It's not like he can go and get it cut, though, with how he looks.

He nods, moving his gaze to 1-3's eyes. Their face is a little red. Oh. Right. Their faces were still only separated by a few inches. He leans back and speaks again. "Fine. Just be careful. If you fuck it up I get to fuck up yours." He pokes the air near 1-3 to make his point.

Something he didn't expect at all happens. 1-3 laughs. Really laughs. At a stupid threat that really isn't one.

What.

"Alright, I won't fuck it up." They reply.

The smile lingers on their face a little. Their laugh is also crackly and weird and nonhuman like his. What. They never laugh at his dumb jokes. They must be tired. Or they hit their head. He stares at their expression for way too long.

They interrupt the developing silence. "I'll cut your hair after you eat. I went out." They lean their head towards the counter. He follows their line of sight and sees a plastic black back placed there. "Thanks." He says quickly, before he forgets.

Its weird how they just. Do that. For him. They both dance around talking about it, for obvious reasons, but in his head he knows what they mean by "went out". They killed someone. For him. So he didn't sit here and rot.

He stops himself from thinking about it and walks over to the counter. He takes a few pieces and forces it down his throat. It tastes bad, it always does, but he's pretty used to it. It's easier to just get it over with. Not like he really has a choice in it. Could be worse. 1-3 hates it much more than he does.

------‐--------------------------------------------------------------

They're in the bedroom now, 1-3 sitting on the mattress and 1-2 on the floor directly below them. They hold a pair of thin scissors in their hand. It's not the right kind, but it'll work.

1-2 told them what they wanted earlier, and while they weren't a professional in the slightest, it would be easy. And he didn't need to know that, anyway.

God, they were close. It wasn't uncomfortable, but for some reason their brain latched onto their proximity and didn't let go. Like earlier, when 1-2 looked them in the eyes and moved towards them.

Do NOT think about his face right now just cut his hair it's what he asked of you- They hold some of his hair in their hand and begin cutting. The satisfying snip snip snip of the scissors echoes around the space as hair flutters to the carpeted floor.

It doesn't take long for them to finish. There wasn't much to do. They look at their work for a bit just to see if there's anything they need to fix in the back. They move to sit infront of 1-2 and look at the front, hands brushing against his forehead to adjust the strands slightly before giving a curt nod and leaning back. It's his turn to redden.

They push any thoughts related to 1-2's face [for the second time] and the contact they just made with him to the back of their mind.

1-2 gets up and goes to the bathroom quickly to look at what they did. He comes back after a short moment, taking his place on the floor again. He nods back. "Your hair's safe from me." He says, which is his way of giving them a compliment.

1-3 goes to sit next to him instead of infront so its less awkward. They both bathe in the sound of absolutely nothing. They do this a lot, simply sit in the same space. It was kind of nice. Better than being alone.

"You're tired." 1-2 says, now eyeing them carefully. They hate how easily he can read them most of the time. "As are you. I was only gone for an hour or so and you passed out waiting."

"Touché."

"Well," 1-2 says, standing. "We might as well sleep now, then. Neither of us have plans."

They nod and crawl into bed after him. They don't feel like denying it today. He needs the rest and so do they.

They sleep on opposite sides of the bed, though they're still close do to the size of it. They also share a blanket, which 1-3 often has to steal back from 1-2. He has a habit of taking it all in his sleep. God, they already know his sleeping habits and it's only been a few months.

He falls asleep quickly [he always does, he's always tired] but 1-3 takes a bit longer. More thoughts than usual bubble to the surface of their head and spill over. Some involve blood and the experiments and slicing, which always makes it hard to sleep, but a select few involve him.

They want to get closer, so, so badly for no reason at all. The thought of it sounds nice. It rings like gentle bells. When was the last time they were close to someone who they weren't trying to kill?

After a contemplative silence, they shift towards him and wrap their arms around him. They think this is selfish, they don't even know if he'd like it, if he'd feel the same, but they let themself have this. If he asks they'll say that it just happened in their sleep. He wont believe it, since they never move much in their sleep, but it will probably get him to not ask.

It feels nice, like they thought, a pleasant warmth to it all. It's also a little awkward since they don't do this often, but it doesn't matter. The sounds of soft breathing fill the silence.

It doesn't take them long to fall asleep now.

[lovelandfrogman]

just saw that you saw the neptune theater production of ragad???? how was it!?!

YESSSSS it was so good!!!! sorry for the late reply, i just wanted to write out something detailed for this but didn't have the time!

id been planning to go for a while and i'm so glad it worked out! it definitely lived up to my hype, it was amazing!! ill give some very un-expert and very rambly impressions i had, but PLS let me know if you have specific questions about any details or scenes or choices :D

also i apologize im not a True fan of these 2 actors and i dont remember their names so ill just call them by their characters DHSJD

first off heres the set and playbill!!

i was kinda surprised because all the promo pictures seemed to show them wearing modern suits so i thought it was gonna be a modern setting, but it was just colorful old timey clothes! (sorry im not very knowledgeable on costumes, my main impression was just "oooo fun clothes")

oh one costume note is that one of them was wearing a green suit with a blue waistcoat, and the other was wearing a blue suit with a green waistcoat!

another unique thing about the production is it was split into 3 acts, like the script does, but most productions just do 2 acts!

i really enjoyed watching this, both ros+guil were super funny and the audience was laughing the whole time, even near the end like when guildenstern's breaking down, which i honestly enjoyed-- even when it's horribly tragic, it's STILL kiiinda funny. also i liked guildenstern's accent

in my opinion the acting was great all around, i kinda enjoyed the hamlet scenes and how they were acted seriously, since i'm always conflicted on if r&gad should make the hamlet parts serious or not! also guildenstern and rosencrantz's serious and emotional bits hit me so harddd (as in both of their monologues about death i guess)

there was a lot more use of obvious lighting and sound design than i feel like is typical for r&gad? but i enjoyed it!! i'll talk a bit more about that laterrrr

they also had some singing from the tragedians, once in their first entrance, and once replacing the ship noises at the beginning of act 3, which was very fun

one big difference was after the final scene w horatio, they blackout and go back to the initial positions and do a single "heads!" which was GREAT, i don't think i've seen anything else make the time loop that explicit??

ok and now just some rambling about interpretations

so part of me before the play started was like "i've watched/read/listened to this play SO many times, i hope it's not just boring and same-y and i don't realize anything new."

AND THEN. near the end of the first scene where ros+guil come across the tragedians. i was like HOLY SHIT and realized an interpretation that i've never thought of before.

(this might be a Super obvious interpretation and i'm just slow but whatever.) it occured to me that the moment that the tragedians are about to put on a play for ros+guil and the scene suddenly shifts to hamlet, it could be interpreted that the rest of the play is just the tragedians putting on one of the classics for ros+guil, and them getting "caught up in the action".

of course this doesn't make sense with Everything in the play, but it's SO fascinating to me and it recontextualizes a lot of stuff, like making it so that ros+guil are just fucking around backstage and onstage trying to figure out their roles the whole time in this play that's suddenly started around them.

also there's a couple choices that i think support this interpretation, like tending to switch to a warm stage-y lighting whenever scenes from hamlet are going on, and switching back to a cool neutral whenever ros+guil are "offstage".

plus, i think this happened a couple times but notably when hamlet is doing his "to be or not to be" speech and rosencrantz is trying to figure out how to interrupt him, there's this super interesting lighting effect where they have a spotlight on the BACK of the stage where hamlet is, and these lights near the bottom of the stage that give the impression of stage lights, making it look like the stage is reversed and hamlet's on the side facing the audience while ros+guil are upstage. IDK if that makes sense but i was like HOLY SHIT when i realized.

PLUS, im fairly sure all the actors playing roles in hamlet are all also tragedians, AND between each act, they had the tragedians doing stuff like moving the set, sweeping, etc, on stage, which was very fun..

ANYYYWAYY those are my thoughts :D not gonna tag this bc im embarrassedddd but feel free to rb and feel free to ask questions

[mel-loves-kdramas]

Your Exo-L Secret Santa checking in/replying! I have your gift all queued up although I might add some finishing touches.

Ohh the Xfiles fandom is old school. I've watched a couple seasons always meant to get back to it. Are you still active in those fandoms? I was on tumblr as a high schooler primarily for doctor who, harry potter, star trek. That was quite long ago although I still follow doctor who sometimes.

I have a couple friends who are big BTS fans, and I was super into classic rock at the time and they both sent me the Dynamite mv which IS a great way to hook a 70s fan into kpop. Since then I've gotten into a whole bunch of groups: SHINee was probably first. I'm also big into WayV (veryy excited for their new comeback the teasers look gorgeous!) Pentagon, Day6... Do you follow/listen to any other groups?

I can’t believe you saw SuperM in concert!!! that’s amazing. I have been to one kpop concert (BTS) and it was SO much fun. ugh to see Baekhyun live… but yesss you're right he is almost back! (and we're just not gonna talk about kai and sehun enlisting) Do you think Exo is going to have a comeback soon then?? Trying not to get my hopes up too much haha but I think it's what the world needs.

I really liked Grey Suit too! (Morning Star made it surprisingly high in my spotify wrapped, but Hurdle was the favorite for me). I will definitely check out the live session MVs! I love anything that highlights their vocals (and any time they lean into the superpowers).

Favorite Baekhyun songs are probably Amusement Park, Betcha, Privacy, UN Village. My favorite Exo solo album overall is probably Kyungsoo's though.

When I had covid, I luckily never fell ill, but I tested positive and this was pre-vaccine so there was (understandably!) even more precaution. But no symptoms! I just stayed inside and binge watched tv and tried to learn how to play guitar.

Last optional Q for the present, what are a few of your overall favorite music albums? (doesn't have to be exo/kpop!)

Have a lovely week! <3

Hi Santa,

Yay! I am quite excited to see what you have created for me.

Omg, how lucky you are to have seen BTS in concert! Trying to get tickets are always sooooo crazy! A friend of mine tried to get tickets once and couldn’t.

Besides EXO, I really enjoy TVXQ, NCT and all their subunits.

Maybe us fans can manifest a EXO comeback after Baekhyun comes back from his military service. Crossing fingers!

I am so glad you didn’t have bad symptoms of covid. I also loved Kyungsoo’s solo album, but second to Suho (of course, hahaha) I loved Kai’s first solo album. His 2nd solo album was good, but I really enjoy his first one.

It’s hard for me to choose certain albums for a few of my favs so I hope you don’t mind me going off their greatest hits albums. Some of my fav artists and their greatest hits albums are Bruno Mars, Keith Urban, Maroon 5, and for Taylor Swift her two albums: 1989 and Midnights.

I was very involved in the Arrow/Olicity fandom when the show was on air, but not very much these days. As for The X-Files I still love all the fandom creations (gifs, edits and fanart). They will always be my OTP of fandoms.

Were you excited about the Dr Who’s David Tennant surprise return? I think it might have broken tumblr when it happened. Hahaha! I loved him in BroadChurch.

Have a wonderful week too!

[transflynnscifo]

ok dnk part 3 ch 3.3 thoughts wahoooo. some vesperia spoilers are in there too

basically i found this update extremely interesting in the details. theres a lotnof small moments and lines that at first glance appear innocuous but have some sort of weight in context with the game itself. let's poke a little!

before that though i just wanted to say that this earned a good laugh out of me. these guys are so goofy

anyway!

flynn pov!

i like that flynn is obviously trying to do things the legal route by reporting the problem in hopes of getting it resolved. and while he has the patience to meticulously visit any place he thinks of, the narration notes that he doesn't have much patience nor hope. the former is particularly notable when flynn nearly lashes out against the knights

its a remnant of his observed mannerisms @ knights in parts 1 and 2, but we're already observing the beginnings of something we see in game, and it's specifically how he swallows his anger down around 95% of people he speaks to. ive mentioned it before in different places but its confirming my suspicions that have been growing since first reading translations: flynn becoming a knight wasnt the only factor in why his self-discipline strenghtened to a point he is actively suppressing himself. you kind of see him putting on a smile back when his mom was alive, and while part 3 opens with his behavior being fairly...closer(?) to how he can be seen in game when amicable, it just goes to show that flynns both been able to move on in some ways from his grief, but is also still learning to navigate his negative feelings in a way that makes others less worried. (opening a bracket here; the hope part just makes me think its smth we dont get to directly observe in game due to the game sticking to yuris pov, but can be inferred throughout the events of the story and particularly yuris actions against ragou and cumore. flynn is stubborn, but theres definitely some form of exhaustion that comes with moments that show some of flynns efforts end up futile, like arresting ragou)

but still, the earlier screenshot with flynn being surprised yuris worried only serves my point in addition to yuri being yuri; it doesnt seem like people usually fuss over flynn in front of him, does it?

a lot of that just now has been super speculative lol but another interesting bit ill briefly mention happens before the flynn pov that yuri thinks about jareth:

i hadnt considered the possibility of comparing flynn and jareth until this, and when i thought about it more, i realized theres quite a few parallels to draw between them going as early as part 1. but for the sake of brevity, ill focus on this bit. and how, in a way, jareth is also abiding by the law by following godonan's orders. are they good actions? no, but theyre legal. flynn is also trying to abide the law for the sake of the lower quarter. so you have two sides of abiding by the law, and how both ideas are done with some intent for the lower quarter.

jareth is interesting though, because he clearly is concerned about his home, but is also insistent on his home abiding by the whims of nobles, "because it would be easier." on the other hand, flynn is going down the harder path, by stubbornly seeing if there is anyone who is willing to take his case seriously

further down this chapter, jiri then says this to yuri:

so its fascinating that yuri too can be put into the mix, with him sneaking to the royal quarter. though jiri treats flynns part in this as the more positive one, it still comes across as her not entirely being optimostic about this in terms of influence..? but i guess in this case, it's less about whether any of these boys' actions are good, but more of a "its not great that a teenager is doing xyz all alone." i otherwise havent figured it out

HOWEVER

im sure jiri didnt think twice when she said that, but its easy to note that this is the same line of thinking yuri is known to repeat at the last third of the game about flynn. "he doesnt need a criminal by his side" can invoke a lot of ideas, but its not hard to imagine that yuri thinks his crimes would affect flynns efforts in one way or another. so to see it here made me think, oh yuris been internalizing some feelings about flynn for so so long. before knighthood even. this is a lot to think about

i havent got much else to add to this now, but its food for thought

i did enjoy that yuri attempts to go to find godinan, but rip. he really had no idea on what he was going to do, but he knew it just Wasnt Good. yuri. yuri BUDDY

anyway thanks for reading

[comingyourlugubriousness]

I saw your recent ask post and wanted to ask

🦐What relationship does your character have with Floyd?

🍄 What relationship does your character have with Jade <3

Under readmore bc it got longer than I thought:

🦐What relationship does your character have with Floyd?

(This meme really sums it up.)

At first Yume was really intimidated by Floyd, they already are anxious about meeting new people, but his unpredictable attitude/moods added an extra layer for Yume to be nervous about and second guess.

But as time goes on….well they're still pretty intimidated by him!

(Plus after the events of chapter 3, which Yume took very personally they had a negative opinion of him being one of Azul’s goons.) But now there's kind of an understanding that its just the way he is and there's not always ill intentions behind his actions.

I think they went through a phase of having a similar relationship to Riddle in Floyd. Where Floyd would intentionally mess with Yume knowing it would get a funny reaction out of them and Yume would try to avoid him. Though after the events of chapter 4 where Ocatvinelle helps out Yume and his brothers. Yume sees him in a better light. And they have caught glimpses of his more tender, kind natured side. 

I don’t know if Yume would actually call them friends but they have kind of settled into seeing Floyd as someone they can rely on…if he is in the right mood of course! 

If they're both in the right mood I think they have the potential to get along great! They both know what it's like to have a sibling so they can keep up with that energy, joking and horsing around. 

 And once Yume learns that Floyd is just trying to get a reaction out of them with his teasing they just don’t react as much, which in turn gets a reaction out of Floyd and it kind of becomes another type of game lol. I can imagine Floyd lifting Yume up a lot and trying to get a reaction out of them but they just go limp in his arms and don’t react lol.

 As for when he has his bad moods I think Yume mostly tries to avoid him. But when they can't, well… they're pretty good at reading people and would try to just be quiet and let him work it out. They do understand that sometimes your mood just tanks…(no fish pun intended).

Overall I think their relationship is more in the positive then the negative, but its a day to day matter with Yume, at least for now!

TL:DR: Floyd sees Yume as a friend so Starfishie really doesn't have a choice in the matter!

🍄 What relationship does your character have with Jade

Yume finds Jade less intimidating than Floyd, due to his more polite way of speaking and more even temperament. Not that they don’t know that he can't be just as unhinged but just that he’s more civil about it? (If that makes sense.) Even before Jade told them about the trick to telling the two of them apart Yume could figure it from facial expression and vibe alone.

Like with Floyd I don’t know if Yume would exactly call them "friends" after everything, but they get along fine. When Yume and his brothers go to the monstro lounge he would prefer to sit in his section over Floyd of Azul’s.

I think Jade makes chatting easier so even if Yume doesn’t know what to say in a conversation he will help them find a topic of discussion.

Yume likes discussing a variety of topics with him ( His club, new things at the Monstro Lounge, plants, old stories about Floyd or Azul, ect). I think they're also interested in his hobby of making terrariums and could bond over the creative and crafting nature of such a project.

During Bean day the two of them really bonded over their joint desire to take out Azul, and Yume was surprised with how well they planned together! And Jade learned just how determined, driven, and ruthless Yume could be when they set their mind to a goal and had proper motivation. Despite not winning, they both decided that they wouldn’t mind having others on their side if something happened!

TL:DR: Easier for them to deal with then Floyd!

[rogue-durin-16]

FIREWORKS AND STREAMERS

Request: I have been insecure about my curly hair lately and was wondering if you can you write something with one of the weasley twins where the reader is insecure about her curly hair and one of the twins makes her feel better.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Hufflepuff!Reader

Genre: fluff

Tags:

Requested by: @wildcat1434

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: So like, incoming fluff bc this idea was cute and sometimes I do be needing fluff, that's about it, enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The relationship between me and my hair had always been... Bumpy, you could say.

There were periods in which I would find it quite lovely; during those times I would let my curls free, showing them off with a proud demeanor, knowing my hair was unique. Those times began to turn less and less usual since the middle of third year, though they were still there.

However, after the summer prior to my sixth year, those moments had banished; I only wished to hide my hair, and my friends ended up noticing. They told me surely there would be a spell or potion able to change my hair.

As if they had summoned it, the next day in Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall introduced us to what seemed like my salvation; Crinus Muto, an advanced spell that modified the caster's hair with no restrictions.

My best friend advised me against using it, claiming it wouldn't help my insecurity— if only, it would worsen it.

I really wanted to do as she had told me and completely dismiss the spell's existence, but two nights after I had a big mental breakdown about it, caused by the most stupid thing ever.

"Is Weasley staring at you or am I blind?" One of my friends whispered, her eyes trained on the Gryffindor table.

I didn't even bother to look up, not wanting to know whether it was true or not, before responding with a quiet "You're blind."

"I mean, it's hard to tell with two rows of students between us but," She nudged me, urging me to avert my gaze from my dinner and redirect it to Fred. "it kinda looks like he's... staring."

Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. My eyes finally left my plate and were, in fact, met with Fred's brown ones. As soon as they met, though, he looked away, pretending to be focused on his food, just like I had been doing seconds ago.

"Of course he's staring." Hannah Abbot, who sat right in front of my friend, commented with her mouth full. "Have you seen your hair?" She swallowed her food, looking me up and down before adding, "No offense, but it's an absolute mess." My eyes opened widely in shock at her bluntness. "You should take care of it, really."

"Has someone ever told you you're an ill-mannered bitch, Hannah?" I heard my friend talking back at the younger girl while I got up and started to make my way out of the Great Hall.

Of course, I didn't see Fred shooting up and attempting to go after me; ultimately he decided to stay in his place, since he saw my friend walking out too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was very aware of all the pair of eyes that had been laid on me the very moment I entered the greenhouse where we would be doing the Herbology tasks.

When I had met my friends at the Hufflepuff common room that morning, I had received divided opinions about my straight hair. At first I had been very convinced that it looked way better than my curly hair, but seeing my friends' reaction, I wasn't that confident about it anymore.

I didn't have time to undo the spell before class, so I decided to go along with it and see how the day unfolded.

I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on the ground as I made my way to an empty seat; maybe there weren't that many people staring, maybe it was just my anxiety.

I finally gathered the courage and looked up, nervously scanning the glasshouse so I could shake off my fears.

There was only a couple of my peers staring, which would have put me at ease, if one of them wasn't Fred Weasley.

On top of it, of course, he wasn't even trying to be subtle, it was almost as if he wanted me to notice his judging eyes; I could feel his gaze on me for the entire class.

The instant Professor Sprout dismissed us, I shoved everything in my bag and left the greenhouse, thanking a couple of Gryffindors who complimented my hair on my way out.

Again, I didn't notice Fred leaving the class as soon as he could to run after me.

I threw my bag against a tree near the lake shore and, as I fell against it, I heard someone jogging in my direction.

"In a hurry to sit by the lake, Y/l/n?" I followed the tall ginger with my eyes while he circled me and sat down by me. "You alright?"

"I just needed a break from... People." I vaguely explained, focusing on the water instead of on the boy besides me.

"Understandable." He hesitated for a second before adding, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's fine." I surprised myself at how calmed and collected I sounded, as if I wasn't chatting with my crush.

"What happened to your hair?" His genuinely curious inquiry took me aback, and I struggled to find something to answer.

"Why?" My heartbeat picked up, anxiety inundating me once more. "You don't like it?"

"It looks weird." Fred looked at me up and down with a grimace. "You don't... Look like yourself." I was about to enter fight or flight mode, but he seemed to notice, and panic made its way to his face. "But it doesn't matter what I think," he was quick to add, his eyes wide open as if he knew he had said something he should have not. "I mean— I think it shouldn't matter, if you like it, that's great— I mean, you don't need my opinion about that either!"

"Calm down, I understand." I tried to reassure him, before his rambling drove the both of us crazy. "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded with pursed lips, surely afraid he would fuck up if he spoke again. "I've been very insecure about my hair lately— like, very." I sighed. "My best friend told me not to straighten it, but last night I got a not so nice comment and—"

"So that's why you left?" I nodded, tugging my sleeves. Fred went silent for a moment, and then cleared his throat and scooted closer to me. "I know this won't do much, but I really love your hair. Kinda reminds me of fireworks and streamers." He gestured around his own head, mimicking the fireworks' movement. "Dunno I think is fun and pretty awesome." I raised my brows at him in surprise. "Like you."

"Aw, that's very sweet." He offered me a sheepish smile as I felt my cheeks blushing. "It does a lot, actually." I confessed, fidgeting with my rings. "I guess I kinda needed to hear something positive about my hair."

"Well, whenever you need to hear something positive about your hair," he pointed at himself. "I'm your man." He winked at me and I let out a chuckle. "I can also tell you positive things about you in general, but that has a price."

"And what is it?"

"You'll have to let me buy you a drink at The Three Broomsticks this Saturday." I tried not to let panic slip through my recently eased demeanor; was he asking me on a date? "And give me a kiss after." He wiggled his brows at me and my face turned red. "the kiss is negotiable."

I casted my gaze down, fixing it on my shoes, not sure of what I was supposed to say at that. His foot tapping mine snapped me out of my thoughts.

"So?" My eyes traveled to him once more, only to find his studying me already. "What do you say, Y/l/n?"

"Well," I shrugged, trying in vain to play nonchalant. "Seems like an affordable price, so it's fine by me."

"I'll pick you up after lunch, yeah?" Before I could agree, he gasped, his eyes going wide. "I'm a genius."

"Come again?" I frowned, confused as his sudden frantic behavior.

"Don't mind me, love." He jumped up and jogged towards the castle, leaving me puzzled in there. I was about to grab a book from my bag when Fred rushed back, crouched down and pecked my cheek. "Your hair's amazing." He assured me. "See you!" My fingertips graced my now flushed cheek as he headed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was finishing my lunch when two towering redheads entered the Hall running; while George, slowed down, Fred made a beeline to the Hufflepuff table, his casual clothes already on.

"Ready?" He asked breathless.

"Yeah— you didn't have lunch, did you?" I pointed out, getting up to stand in front of him.

"No, but I'll eat something later—" his eyes roamed over my carefully picked outfit before stating, "You look... very pretty."

"Why, thank you." I offered him a smile and looked over my shoulder at the Gryffindor table, where his friends were very attentive to all we did. "You sure you don't wanna eat something?"

"Hundred percent." He tilted his head towards the gates. "shall we?" He prompted to walk before him, and it was then that I realized he had his hands behind his back. Once we were out in the yard, he tugged my hand and made me turn to him. "I made something for you."

"You didn't have to." Was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard his words. Then the wording dawned on me; he didn't get me something, he made me something. "What is it?"

"So, you know that I told you your hair reminded me of fireworks and streamers?" I nodded, not quite knowing where he was going with that. "Well—" he then showed me what his back was hiding; a delicate, tiny firecracker with my name written on the side. "George helped me so I could finish it on time."

"I'm—" at my loss of words, I could only let out a happy laugh. "This is so cute— am I supposed to ignite it?"

"Duh!" I gently pushed his shoulder in response to his teasing. "Do you know how to do it?"

"I've seen you do it plenty of times." I admitted, grabbing the firecracker with one hand and my wand with the other; it looked so pretty, it was a pity I'd have to ruin it.

With a brief firemaking spell, the firecracker set off. Fred pulled me back slightly before it happened, though.

I was in awe at the beautiful fireworks before us, which looked like a color-changing, expanding version of my hair.

When the colors died out, I turned to Fred, whose attention was already on me, awaiting for a reaction. Surely, he was not expecting the kiss he got, but he didn't complain either; while my hands rested on his chest, his traveled to cup my cheeks before I could pull away.

"So you liked it?" He questioned quietly against my lips.

"I loved it." I whispered back with a wide smile. "You're a sweetheart." I pecked his lips before retreating. Holding his hand in mines, I made my way back into the castle. "We're not leaving until you have lunch."

"You are a sweetheart." He responded, following my lead without offering resistance. "By the way, your hair looks gorgeous." The corners of my lips twisted into a bigger smile at the sweet words he spoke only for me to hear as we went back into the Great Hall.

Maybe my hair wasn't that bad after all.

[astriefer]

I will elaborate more later, but I reached 100 followers on Tumbler and I just find it? So? Amazing??? I don't get why someone would follow me but I love you all a lot!! <3

Thank you @kit-12 for dealing with my incapable mind and helping me get the courage to post it. You're the best :3

Warning: bad writing and possible fluff.

"Come here," Cordelia wheedled, spreading her arms. "Come to your sister, azizam."

Their sibling, sitting on the other side of the carpet, was too busy playing with his toy to notice. He was bubbling and giggling as he shook the Persian doll vigorously.

"This is ridiculous," commented Alastair from his place on the armchair. He laid there, twisted so one leg was over the arm of the chair and the other fell to the floor. He also, for five minutes straight, kept saying how ludicrous Cordelia's attempts were.

"You will see," she retorted, redoubling her effort for the sake of proving Alastair wrong. She reached out her arms and signaled their sibling to get closer. "Come on, Baraadar-e koochektar. Let's prove our ill-tempered brother you can do it!"

Alastair rolled his eyes, cutting his gaze back to the newspaper in his hands. "He still too young to crawl. Leave him off alone." 

"No," she insisted. She looked at her brother with a keen look, despite his eyes rested on the printed words on the newspaper. "He will. Have some faith, Alastair."

"I have faith just alright," he said. "But he'll do it when he's ready."

Cordelia didn't resist making a face. Their baby brother laughed at it, a toothless grin that reminded Cordelia of Alastair's. 

That was one thing she and Alastair would argue about frequently: Whose smile is more like the baby's smile, what weapons would he use growing up, would he like Persian literature and art like them and Maman, what food he'd like, what music he'd prefer (Alastair stated their brother loves classical music, she's certain he prefer Blues much better).

"You talk as if I make him walk on a five feet tall rope. It's just crawling." She smiled fondly at her baby brother. "Oh, little one, I hope you won't end up like Alastair." She pretended to shudder from the thought. "Great Lord, I'd do all in my force to prevent such tragedy."

"Very amusing," Alastair said dryly.

Her brother looked up at her, chubby cheeks flushed from glee and expression clear of any fuss. Cordelia smiled to him encouragingly, coaxing him up to try and reach her. He glanced at her innocently for three steady seconds before ignoring her again in favor of the toy in his hand. 

Cordelia stared blankly. Alastair mumbled under his breath, and she turned to glare at him. He pressed his lips together, clearly suppressing a grin.

"What?" she demanded.

"Maybe he just doesn't want to come to you," he suggested. She captured the smug smirk playing on his lips and narrowed her eyes at him.

"What is it you implying?" she demanded, peeved already. 

Alastair didn't seem bothered by her exasperation. He cocked his eyebrows. "Nothing, sister. Nothing at all."

She crossed her arms on her chest. "You think he is not trying because he isn't interested in coming to me, especially."

"How observant of you."

He was indifferent to her irritation, which made her even more annoyed. She huffed at Alastair's irksome demeanor. "You won't do any better on this field."

"Of course I will," her brother said in a superior voice. "You clearly don't know how to capture his eye."

"And you do?"

"Yes, most obviously, " he responded.

It was Cordelia's turn to arch her eyebrows, a challenging smile on her face. "Oh, really?  So why don't you, dear brother, try to make him crawl toward you?"

Alastair made his signature eye-rolling. "Because it's childish. And because he can very well do so on his own."

She clicked her tongue. "Are these excuses? Besides, you said a moment ago he's still too young."

"He is," Alastair clarified.

"But he's a Carstairs, we always come ahead of our time," she smiled at him. She swept imaginary dust away from her dress. It was too late, she knew; Alastair's challenge was accepted - and she was determined to prove him wrong. "If I didn't know better, I would say you don't think he'll come to you, seeing as you refuse to prove your saying of him not wanting to crawl only to me. You should have no problem then."

He squinted at her, grumbling, and she thought he might simply go to his room and ignore her for the rest of the day. However, he tossed his newspaper aside and looked her straight in the eye. "I know what you are trying to do."

"I have no doubt," she answered. "But it's working, isn't it?"

He didn't reply but glanced at their brother. Their sibling has been rolling over, rocking, and dragging himself on his belly in the course of the last months. She always was fascinated and full of joy to see their baby brother stumbling around; pushing himself to sit, reaching to whatever near to grab or investigate with dark curious eyes.

"Just give him a toy he likes. He is fond of that baby rattle with the dragons' decorations as much as this Persian doll."

"Ah," Cordelia said, faking the incredulous tone in her voice. Her glinting eyes and curving smile failed her, though. "You need to bribe him with toys! How poor of you, Alastair."

He rolled his eyes again. Cordelia chuckled. "Let's make a deal. If I lose, I will give you one of my books."

Alastair tilted his head quizzically, but his look was drab. "A book?"

"It's a very fine book," she protested. "Tessa Herondale bought it for me, a rare book in Farsi, so it's sentimental. Just to show how gravely I take it."

"I am not convinced," he revealed pensively.

Alastair hummed and looked over at her, and she scowled. She knew what he wanted to hear. "I will not say it."

"You already know my answer, then."

She restrained herself before she could stick her tongue out at him. She begrudgingly nodded. Then, "As you may. But if I win, you have to perform a song in front of all my friends."

His eyes widened and he made some sort of choking sound. "Pardon?"

"You heard me," she smiled mischievously. "It's only fair." 

Alastair considered her, still thunderstruck. "In what world is it fair? A song in exchange for a book I don't desire? I eat my hat before this would ever happen."

"So to Maman, Papa, Risa, and myself. And our sibling, of course. Be that as it may, I agreed to add the second part to your request, so I want a song."

Alastair shook his head but seemed less strained. He scowled - not unlike she did before - but deemed it fair. "Alright."

She pushed it far enough already. Yet, she gave it a last try. "Include that little say you made me add, and we are on our way."

Alastair's expression made his answer clear. Cordelia rubbed her hands together. "Your face when you lose will be enough, I suppose. The song is just a benefit."

Alastair snorted. He lifted himself to his feet and reached to them. "We will see." 

He sat cross-legged on another edge of the carpet, so both were in front of their baby brother on different corners. 

Cordelia spread his arms, twisting her fingers to gesture to the baby to come. Alastair was a bit stiff as he called their brother's name, too self-conscious to do the same thing. Their sibling seemed baffled by the additional attention drawn toward him, ruthlessly rattling his doll and staring at them.

"Look how surprised he seems by getting your attention," Cordelia pondered. Their brother rocked back a forth on the muted carpet, pushing his hand into his face as if he was wondering what he should do.

"Nonsense. He always looks like that," he dismissed. 

"I decided to ignore your remark. Azizam, come here," she cajoled, concentrating on her mission. "Would you not like to play some music with me?"

One thing both siblings agreed on was their brother's attachment to music. Once, left on the kitchen floor, he took a wooden spoon and decided to hit a pot with it, ostensibly creating music for his own ears. He later threw it, unintentionally, at Cordelia. Alastair could barely keep his face straight when it happened and reminisced it for weeks.

"Who's bribing who now, Cordelia?" quipped her brother, and was rewarded by a giggle from their brother. He twirled an eyebrow. "It seems like he got my sense of humor."

"A natural disaster, really," she teased. Alastair gave her an amused look. A small sound made her glance forward. The word 'music' apparently intrigued him because their sibling's eyes were fixed on her.

"Oh, Would you like that, baby brother? " She smiled victoriously, spreading her arms. "Come to me, and we could play together." 

"Or, I could play the piano, unlike Cordelia," suggested Alastair. He changed position so that he knelt now, pressing his hands on the knees. He leaned forward as if sharing a secret. "And you could assist with the drums."

Cordelia pouted. "That was my idea," she complained. "And I will be a much better companion to play music with." 

Alastair rolled his eyes again. "So to speak."

he opened her mouth to tell her older brother he is wasting time and is wrong about what he is trying to prove when she saw the movement in the corner of her eye. Their brother left behind his toy. He swung his legs, slipping more than once, putting one small hand after the other as he attempted to crawl.

"Alastair," she gasped, forgetting their banter. "He is doing it! He's crawling!"

She turned, elated, to share her awe with Alastair. He looked at their brother wonderingly - It was a rare, open expression on her brother's face that made her smirk wider. His lips turned upward and tinted his face with a smile. She suspected her expression is similar. 

The older Carstairs siblings observed as their brother made his way toward them on the carpet. Cordelia decided no matter whom the baby will come to, she couldn't be more joyous. "Mother should see it," Alastair mumbled.

Cordelia nodded. "It would be a nice surprise when she gets back from tea with the Lightwoods."

Alastair swept his head so swiftly a few strands fell on his eyes. "Wait," he stuttered out. "Which Lightwoods?"

Cordelia flushed and turned her attention back to her little brother. She watched as he tried to move his leg unsuccessfully. "Come to your sister, Baraadar!"

"Layla," he said, his voice informing her he won't let her away without an answer. "Is Mother with Sophie and Gideon Lightwood?"

"Maybe," she conceded. She kept her eyes on their brother "Maybe not."

"Cordelia-"

"It's our brother's first time crawling, do you really want to miss it?" 

"We'll talk about it later," he snapped, and Cordelia found it inequitable. She had nothing to do with whom their mother went out with, and it was certainly not her fault Sophie and Gideon Lightwood happened to be Alastair's partner's parents.

Now fully settled on their brother, they watched as he ungracefully wiggled himself toward them. They encouraged him to get up when he fell and smiled at him when he raised his head to their voices. Cordelia even clapped her hands.

The baby crawled, not fairly straight, but if she reached her hands out she could hold him now. So could Alastair, but she tried her luck. "I think it considered my win."

"Not quite yet, Layla."  The baby fell on his belly. He struggles to find his balance and continued to come closer, his visage as if he wondered himself what was going on.

They watched in astonishment as he kept wiggling his legs and hands, and then passed them. They both changed confused glanced and turned over, watching as a pair of hands grabbed their sibling's small figure. 

"Risa!"

Their baby brother snuggled himself contentedly in Risa's embrace, and she gave the both of them amused looks. She turned away to leave the room.

The Carstairs siblings locked eyes with one another.

"That's unjust!" She exclaimed. "Risa wasn't one of the choices."

As Risa walked away, they heard her laughter echoing from the corridor. Alastair's eyes lent on hers again. "So, what was it about Mother and the Lightwoods?"

Cordelia just grunted and shook her head.

_ _

Thank you for reading so far! I hope you liked it!!

This is still very weird to me. 100 followers??? I suppose some doesn't remember they followed me at all, but I am still quite honored 🥺

I can make the 100 followers celebration thingie🙈 although I'm not as crafty as others I don't think someone wants to know me better, I can answer asks about my opinions, headcanons, maybe a fic if it's Alastair centered, stuff like that :p Please tell me what you think and if you'd like that!!

I'll tag some people who I much regard as mutuals or friends here! I am glad I got to meet you all, no matter if we don't talk at all. If you are reading this, you are amazing 🌺

@fairchilds-and-herondales @littlx-songbxrd @upsidedown-cats @nott-the-best @rinadragomir @gummybears-4u @aceofjesper @dianasarrow @no-scones-allowed @stitchkiss @stxr-thxif @itsdaughterofthemoon @shadowhuntertrash @doitforthecarstairs @banescrown @greymistttt

[aaronandroberthemmerdalegay]

7 huge Emmerdale fan theories that will blow your mind

What's next for the villagers? The superfans have some ideas.

Emmerdale fan theories, Cain Dingle, Robert Sugden, Moira Dingle.

In recent months, Emmerdale has really gained momentum. With new arrivals, flashback surprises during the special Big Night Out episodes, heartbreaking and hard-hitting storylines for Victoria and Lisa and, of course, the gripping twists in abusive Maya's downfall ��� it's been exciting stuff.

We all know one sign of a great soap storyline is if it gets fans talking. Currently, Emmerdale has a wealth of fan theories about what might happen next. Social media has been rife with speculation and we've put together some of the best theories for you to ponder over. Do they sound probable or are they way off the mark?

1. Victoria will give her baby to Robron

Victoria Barton confides in Moira Dingle in Emmerdale

ITV

One of the biggest Emmerdale theories of the moment centres around the outcome of Victoria's pregnancy after her horrific rape. As this storyline has played out in parallel to Robert and Aaron's struggling surrogacy plans, fans have put two and two together and speculated that Vic will give her baby to Robron.

While we know Victoria is pregnant, not much has been said yet about whether she plans to go ahead and have the baby. With brother Robert desperate to have a child with his husband Aaron, could Victoria's tragedy have an unexpected outcome for all three of them?

In truth, we have our doubts on this one, as it wasn't so long ago that Victoria was desperate for a baby herself, so we'll just have to wait and see what she decides...

I'm wondering if Victoria will have her baby and give it to Robron #emmerdale

— Ann beverley (@anniebev6) May 15, 2019

Robert and Aaron are going to bring up Victoria’s baby aren’t they #emmerdale

— Kelly Mew🧚‍♂️ (@x_kelx) May 14, 2019

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I wonder if Aaron and Robert will have Victoria’s baby 🤔 #Emmerdale

— Lindsay Kaye Clamp x (@lindsay_kayex) May 10, 2019

2. Maya has groomed other boys

Maya Stepney in the woods in Emmerdale

ITV

Ever since manipulative Maya began worming her way into Jacob's affections, viewers have wondered whether she has done this before. She might have protested her innocence to the police and Jacob's loved ones, but her efforts to groom him have shown a clever and vindictive woman at work. Could it be that there are other victims of Maya out there? Could they be the cause of her downfall?

Viewers were quick to pick up on ex-husband Liam Cavanagh's reaction to her arrest and after all, it was Leanna who tried to warn the villagers what Maya was like long before we saw her true colours. Will it emerge that Maya has done this before?

Now it's out in the open it wouldn't surprise me if it turns out that Maya has done this before. #Emmerdale

— Penn Wooding (@BrixhamUK) May 22, 2019

Going to guess that this grooming #Emmerdale storyline will finally end with the revelation that Maya has done this before and that Maya isn’t her name.

Yes, I watch Emmerdale. 🐏🐄🐓

— Jim Doran (@jai_dee) May 22, 2019

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Maya must have previous form surely?? Jacob can't be her first victim 🤔 #Emmerdale

— pollyk (@joy9kat) February 28, 2019

3. Laurel and Jai set to be Emmerdale's next big romance

Charlotte Bellamy as Laurel Thomas in Emmerdale

ITV

Forget Robron, Coira or Vanity – could Emmerdale's next biggest ship be Jaurel? After Laurel's disastrous affair with Bob, are producers lining up her next romance with another unlikely admirer? Fans think they've spotted sparks in the Sharma sweet factory between Jai and Laurel, and they've certainly been spending more time together in recent months.

Since Jai's last relationship with con artist Nell ended badly, he's been on his own and even actor Chris Bisson expressed interest in Jai having a bit of happiness. What do you reckon, could that be with Laurel?

Anyone else getting the feeling that Laurel and Jai are going to end up together? #Emmerdale

— Anzi (@Monkey_Moom) April 10, 2019

Is it me or are we getting Jai & Laurel vibe? 😊 #Emmerdale

— Sulagna (@maitra_sulagna) April 10, 2019

Think there's going to be a Jai and Laurel romance.. #Emmerdale @ITV

— Eleri (@EleriEdwards) March 21, 2019

4. Moira or Cain will cheat

Moira Dingle in Emmerdale

It hasn't gone unnoticed that things have been strained between Cain and Moira of late. With Cain spending more time with ex-flame Harriet, and Moira left to confide in new farmhand Nate, even the couple themselves seem to be aware they've hit a rough patch. With frostiness at Butler's and each of them spending more alone time with others, could this be a sign that Coira are doomed to split?

Theories circulating have predicted Cain might return to the arms of Harriet again or Nate's attraction to an older woman might mean he'll bunk up with Moira.

But Coira fans might not need to worry too much yet as actor Jeff Hordley's recent interview on This Morning suggested Cain and Moira are solid. Unless this was just to throw us off the scent...

I really don't understand where emmerdale going with the Cain/Harriet and Moira/Nate. I just know they love messing the Cain and Moria fans around. I just want them to have a decent storyline. Not in involving exs. I'm not worried about Coria they love each other ☺☺☺#Emmerdale

— Royal Princess Alice Rinderette 😘😘😘😘😊😊 (@WoodhouseAlice) May 16, 2019

Still can't help but feel the writers of emmerdale are going to split Coira up .Cain getting close to Harriet and then Moira cosies up to Nate not feeling positive but normally turns out ok

— Coirafanatic (@Lunascatcat) May 19, 2019

5. Is Mandy Dingle dying?

Chas Dingle attacks Mandy Dingle in Emmerdale

ITV

You might think the Dingles have had enough tragedy in recent times, but that doesn't stop fans speculating that there's more on the way. When Mandy Dingle returned earlier this year, she hinted that she hadn't revealed her biggest secret, and left without another word. While some fans predicted that her son Vinny could be Paddy's, others had more heartbreaking ideas.

Could Mandy's real secret be a terminal illness? Was her brief visit to Emmerdale to set up a later story where she makes peace with her family and comes home to die? Whatever Mandy's secret, we'd love to see Lisa Riley back in the village – her fun return was all too brief.

Is Mandy ill?? #Emmerdale

— All About Soap & Reality (@about_soap) January 8, 2019

6. Jamie's mystery caller is Joe Tate

Alexander Lincoln as Jamie Tate in Emmerdale

ITV

There's no better way to get soap fans speculating than by throwing in a mystery phone call. Newcomer Jamie Tate has so far seemed nice as pie compared to his mother Kim, despite being embroiled in a car accident in his first week. Nevertheless, Jamie seemed clean cut until we saw he was hiding a secret – twelve missed calls.

Fans' thoughts immediately turned to Joe, once presumed dead and now AWOL somewhere in the world. Could it be him who's trying to get in touch with his estranged uncle? Or is there someone else desperate to get in touch with Jamie?

I bet you that’s joe ringing jamie #emmerdale

— 🌚 (@nottjayy) May 16, 2019

Did anyone else notice Jamie having missed calls from an unknown number? It's Joe Tate!!! He's coming home! 😀

— Dan (@DanONeil95) May 16, 2019

7. Adam Barton will make a return to the village

Victoria and Adam Barton fear Pete has threatened their adoption chances in Emmerdale

After Victoria's rape ordeal, we've only just begun to watch her heartbreaking story. But some viewers are already predicting there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Could a return of Victoria's ex-husband Adam Barton give her back some happiness?

We've seen how much Victoria misses him and with actor Adam Thomas reportedly keen to return, we wouldn't rule it out. But just what would this mean for Moira and her killer secret?

@emmerdale I think Victoria will keep the baby and Adam returns #Emmerdale

— Tam LizAnn ODriscoll (@tamlizann) May 9, 2019

Victoria will give the baby to Robert and Aaron and go in search of Adam her true love

— helen (@Helenwo21468879) May 10, 2019

Emmerdale airs weeknights on ITV.

[jamiebluewind]

Thank You

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being kind. I know some of you must be... annoyed that I haven't been sharing anything lately (I have too if I'm being honest), but nobody has thrown any hate at me for it and for that, I'm grateful.

I've been resting up since I got out of the hospital, a fact that has been driving me crazy if I'm being honest. Only so many hours in a day and I'm spending so many of um in the bed (doesn't help that dad fussed at me for it)! Then I tell myself that if one of you were in the same position, I'd be fussing your ear off for thinking such a thing and trying to get you to rest, so I'm trying to give myself the same courtesy.

I'm... hesitant to share what went wrong, not for embarrassment but because I don't want yall to worry. Then I realized that this post has probably already make you think far worse, so here goes...

WARNING: Blood mention, illness, body function mention, pain, menstruation, confusion, dehydration, (please tell me if I missed any!)

I got an IUD put in. I didn't want it, but my periods are bad and my insurance wouldn't cover just removing the parts before trying this first. It caused a lot of pain due to having nothing for pain, the person putting it in not knowing what they were doing, and them using silver nitrate without rinsing it off which gave me chemical burns on my cervix. I stayed in pain and they responded saying to take a tylenol and I'd eventually be fine. During this time, I bled constantly. Not a lot, but some. I also had my normal periods to deal with. I found out it was even effecting my mood and making me tired (hormones, constant cramping, or both, you be the judge). Two months in, I wanted it out. They said I just needed to tough it out and I would be fine by 6 months. I'm pretty sure my face did a thing that symotaniously screamed confusion and "fuck you", but I did as I was told.

In the meantime (during December and even now), my heater thermostat started doing something weird. I set the temp, but it would let it get down to like 55° F (12.7° C) at night when it was set on like 68 (20° C). During the day, it would get about 10° F warmer than what it was set (so like 78° F or 26° C). It was kicking on, but not regulating it how it was supposed to. I told my landlady, but they take for-freaking-ever! So out comes an electric blanket to keep me warm at night. I basically lived under the thing after the sun set! I just kept it on one or two so I wouldn't get too warm. I was also feeling crapy (*gestures to previous paragraph*), which meant more bed time than normal.

A few days before Christmas, I got a shot that was supposed to last a month and help block a nerve that causes migraines. I have debilitating hemiplegic migraines and the risk was very low, so I decided to give it a shot. The medication is very new and due to my rare form of migraine reacting atypically to medications, you would think I would know by now not to try medications that haven't been out long.

The fourth and final domino in all this was all the running due to the holiday season. I'm disabled and I have a weak immune system, but I kept pushing myself. I walked so much price shopping for things for everyone that would both mean something and not break budget (even when me left leg wanted to nope out) because Dad gave me a bit of money last minute to help me buy gifts and I only had a week. I wrapped gifts for dad and myself. I cleaned and did some baking. Then there was the driving and the great but exhausting time with family and playing catch with my youngest nephew until my arm was nearly falling off. When I eventually got back home, my whole body had this bone deep ache. Not like overworking muscles after not using them for a long time, but like I had the flu. This is on top of the cramping.

*Note: Some of the information past this point is things the medical staff told me happened, things my dad said happened, and texts*

I would get better and worse. Always worse when I first woke up (remember the blanket?). I went to dad's for a traditional southern New Year's meal. He said I was spacey, lethargic, and far more quiet than normal. My eyes had trouble focusing and I had trouble concentrating. I looked tired so, he made me sleep before driving home. I woke up about 3 am, drank a glass of water, drove home, wrote a post about it (which took entirely too long for me to write), and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and just... laid there. I was having trouble figuring out where my body was. It just felt numbed somehow. I called my neurologist thinking it was a side effect the the drug. I'm not sure what I said, but they made me go to the ER.

I'm not sure how I drove there to be honest. I do remember somebody honking. I'm glad it was close, but still. It's a wonder I didn't get in a wreck!

I don't remember much. A yellow floor sign. A woman writing with a marker. Another woman with brown drawn on eyebrows. A machine that had a small piece of that brown first aid tape stuck to it. A name that made me think of the green emoji face (which my normal brain has yet to figure out). I had trouble talking and thinking. I remember repeating "stay still" over and over the (I think it was) several times I was instructed to, because if I didn't, I'd forget. I'm pretty sure I left my room several times. I know I went to my car once. I remember eating food, but I only recall a pineapple cup because I realized partway that I had a spoon that I could use. I kept forgetting to tell them I was hurting when they asked. I had a headache and sick stomach. I also felt so cold and my feet were like ice, but I was running a low grade fever after all.

I started feeling a little better, but the doctor still admitted me. I had a white count, but they couldn't figure out from where. I messaged a few people to let them know what was going on finding typing easier than talking. I used that to my advantage and typed out my allergies to show a nurse.

They struggled getting the IV in, even on my hand. When it finally was in I was hooked up to fluids to keep it open. More blood taken to try and figure out what was wrong. I gave them what urine sample I could which was tinted (I couldn't help it). They had already done some type of brain scan (but I didn't remember it). I kept having minor dizzy spells, but I attributed it too all the blood they took.

They kept giving me stuff, but nothing helped my headache. It wasn't a migraine, but still very nasty. I was grateful when something finally seemed to help.

My nurse came back with lots of juice to go with my super so I'd have something to drink and a container of ice water. She was new to the hospital and hung around at times just checking on me and talking. Just a nice person. It was otherwise a lot of sleeping.

The longer I stayed, the easier it was to communicate, but the tests couldn't figure out why. They ruled out seizures and a stroke. A mini stroke was highly unlikely and didn't fit. They couldn't find an infection anywhere. My white count went back to normal. They couldn't figure it out.

That was until my nurse from the previous day came back. We just talked about general things until I made a joke about the urine sample from the day before. She asked if it was clean catch and I said yes, but just barely. That ended up causing questions and her checking charts. Turns out that despite being there since the morning before, I had peed twice (with the last time hours before). She pressed on my bladder which wasn't distended. 3 bags of fluid, 3 meals (2 of which I know I ate all of), plus whatever I drank. I had been dehydrated to the point that it had caused my white count to go up and was the reason behind my confusion, lethargy, dizziness, headache, nausea, and low urine output. I was pretty surprised. I was released before lunch.

Pushing past my limits, minor medication side effects (including one long term med), staying under an electric blanket too much to stay warm (combined with exhaustion which meant longer in bed and less time awake to drink water), and pain and constant bleeding due to my IUD... all those things combined causing it to happen. I'm still... oof. Still tired. Still weak. Still recovering. Sleeping so much that the days fly by. Drinking lots of water. And otherwise doing just fine (save for my sleep schedule going to shit again). I still love my electric blanket; it's just been temporary retired until I can get myself rehydrated again. That means my other blankets are out of the vacuum bags and piled up to keep me warm ^_^

Speaking of warm, I have my very own love bug/velcro/snuggle buddy Danny who has been on me like white on rice since I got home. He's a good boy

[haveyoureadgoodomens]

What a great analysis. I would like to comment on this. (it ended being longer than I expected and includes spoilers for A Stitch in Time, in case you haven't read it.)

First, I can understand the attraction towards repetitive epics and stories with predictable endings. In fact, I never understood why people got upset about spoilers. If the twist or surprise of how a story ends is the only thing that makes you like it, I think it mustn't be a very good story at all. I like knowing how a story ends: what matters to me is how the characters got there, how the narrator told the story, how the author planned and structured it. And I think this happens, in a way, to all of us when reading genre literature. If I read a detective story, I know the character placed in the detective position will end up unravelling the mystery and finding the culprit. When we read a romance novel, we know the two characters will end up entangled together in a love affair, that may or may not outlast the ending. We have genres because we like to read the same stories over and over again. We like how they feel / how they make us feel, and that is why we read those stories.

In a way, that is similar to the repetitive epic. Last time I checked, Agatha Christie was the top 1 bestseller in the world, and she wrote a very specific genre. Even in the most exceptional of her novels, such as Murder on The Orient Express or The murder of Roger Ackroyd, we don't get anything too different from the usual Christie fare. Aren't we reading again and again the story of a detective finding the clues and figuring out the mystery? At the most basic level, they are all same story, just told in a different way.

Second, I'd like to talk about the very interesting point @lorenzobane makes about Garak's idea that the character's actions being good is what makes a story good.

What I found hilarious of Garak's commentary on Julius Caesar is that he doesn't criticize Brutus for killing Caesar, but Caesar for not noticing the intentions of his friend. One would say that in a hierarchical society as Cardassia, killing your superior would be problematic. Cardassians aren't Klingons, who will kill at the first sign of weakness from a commander. In Cardassia, even the most stupid orders are followed if issued by the person in power. We see that with Damar obeying Dukat's orders even when we disagrees. At best, he dares to voice his disagreement, but executes them none the less. He plays errand boy for him, taking dresses to Kira, talking to Ziyal when he is not a family member, and he didn't take action when the Federation attacked to recover DS9, following Dukat's orders. Even Weyoun was distrustful of Dukat's overconfidence, but Damar did nothing. Had they been Klingons, he would have killed Dukat. But he isn't, and he didn't. He obeyed.

Is Garak projecting fantasies when he blames Caesar for not noticing the betrayal of his friend? Because it is murder, yes, but first it is a betrayal. I think that Garak had never read a story in which the murder of a superior even happened. From what we read in A Stitch in Time, when a higher up was troublesome, the Order took care of it by finding material about that person so as to indict them and have them tried in court. That is what he was ordered to do to Dukat's father. And when he finally killed Lokar, who was one of the higher ups with great prospects to achieve the top of Cardassian society, Garak was exiled, effect immediately.

Because of this, Garak was ill equipped to analyze the play. Just imagine, the first Earth book your new Federation friend recommends you to read is: 1) completely subversive and against your values, 2) representative of one of your crimes (in killing your superior and your "friend", which was kind of the relationship he had with Lokar, they had been friends in Bamarren), and as far as I can imagine, 3) connected with deeply hidden fantasies of killing Tain which an accomplished assassin like Garak must have entertained. Even if he would never admit them to himself (until he read the play, naturally). If Garak had been Brutus and Caesar been Tain, Tain would have known about the assassination attempt. That is what Garak is telling Julian when he criticizes the play.

About Cardassian literature now. Garak gives Julian books that are FAMOUS in Cardassia. Books that are studied at university, books that everyone admires. In such a strict society where order must be maintained for the nation to function, literature must both delight and indoctrinate. If we think about it, our literature does that too. When we have Hamlet as a tragedy, we learn that being indecisive is wrong. I'm not saying that is the point of the play, but that is something we absorb from reading it, and being able to make quick and effective decisions is seen as a positive trait in the western world. When we read Romeo and Juliet, we learn that giving ourselves to infatuation is a negative thing. Literature is a teaching tool, for both humans and Cardassian. If Cardassians are a reflection of a fascist, xenophobic, strict classist society, those are the values it will teach, both in content and form. A culture that values following rules, order and being effective, will judge literature following precisely those values. Caesar is an ineffective leader because he doesn't realize Brutus's betrayal. Why would a piece of literature portray how not to be a leader? Why would a book show that killing a superior is acceptable? I can imagine the culture shock.

And about that line, the fault is not on our stars but in ourselves, well, Garak may be a Cardassian, but he is the most sentimental Cardassian we have ever met. He says so all the time, his family chastises him for it at every step. Somehow I feel sure that Garak understands human literature a bit all too well. Unacceptable of a Cardassian.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Okay so I was watching a compilation of Garak and Julian discussing literature to help me figure out Garak and Julian's personal taste and interests and:

Garak is so bad at literary analysis. What the fuck, man.

The fact that he's bad at literary analysis tells me that (duh) Garak literally does not view books or literature the same way a human would- he doesn't seem like he has any meaningful suspension of disbelief. But also he views the actions of the character as what makes the story good, not the story itself or the writing. Like... if he read Hamlet, he'd think that Hamlet is just a complete idiot and completely miss the rest of the story and meaning. He's very focused on the protagonist's effectiveness, which is not really how I typically think of a "good" or "bad" book. Like, Hamlet is a very good play with a very ineffective lead.*

It seems like he's (and Cardassians in general) attracted to stories where you always know the ending. I wonder how much of that is a comfort thing, you're never concerned about the ending of a Cardassian novel because everyone who is accused is always guilty and the repetitive epic always repeats. This makes me wonder... how much of that attraction to extremely predictable stories comes from the fact that their lives can be so unpredictable. In a world where you live in a fascist police state, maybe there is something actually comforting about always knowing exactly what is happening.

(*Though- I can't tell how much of this is just to annoy Julian because he's clearly able to understand the meaning of the "fault in our stars" quote that he yells at Tain later)

[emmerdalesweden]

7 huge Emmerdale fan theories that will blow your mind

What's next for the villagers? The superfans have some ideas.

Emmerdale fan theories, Cain Dingle, Robert Sugden, Moira Dingle.

In recent months, Emmerdale has really gained momentum. With new arrivals, flashback surprises during the special Big Night Out episodes, heartbreaking and hard-hitting storylines for Victoria and Lisa and, of course, the gripping twists in abusive Maya's downfall – it's been exciting stuff.

We all know one sign of a great soap storyline is if it gets fans talking. Currently, Emmerdale has a wealth of fan theories about what might happen next. Social media has been rife with speculation and we've put together some of the best theories for you to ponder over. Do they sound probable or are they way off the mark?

1. Victoria will give her baby to Robron

Victoria Barton confides in Moira Dingle in Emmerdale

ITV

One of the biggest Emmerdale theories of the moment centres around the outcome of Victoria's pregnancy after her horrific rape. As this storyline has played out in parallel to Robert and Aaron's struggling surrogacy plans, fans have put two and two together and speculated that Vic will give her baby to Robron.

While we know Victoria is pregnant, not much has been said yet about whether she plans to go ahead and have the baby. With brother Robert desperate to have a child with his husband Aaron, could Victoria's tragedy have an unexpected outcome for all three of them?

In truth, we have our doubts on this one, as it wasn't so long ago that Victoria was desperate for a baby herself, so we'll just have to wait and see what she decides...

I'm wondering if Victoria will have her baby and give it to Robron #emmerdale

— Ann beverley (@anniebev6) May 15, 2019

Robert and Aaron are going to bring up Victoria’s baby aren’t they #emmerdale

— Kelly Mew🧚‍♂️ (@x_kelx) May 14, 2019

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

I wonder if Aaron and Robert will have Victoria’s baby 🤔 #Emmerdale

— Lindsay Kaye Clamp x (@lindsay_kayex) May 10, 2019

2. Maya has groomed other boys

Maya Stepney in the woods in Emmerdale

ITV

Ever since manipulative Maya began worming her way into Jacob's affections, viewers have wondered whether she has done this before. She might have protested her innocence to the police and Jacob's loved ones, but her efforts to groom him have shown a clever and vindictive woman at work. Could it be that there are other victims of Maya out there? Could they be the cause of her downfall?

Viewers were quick to pick up on ex-husband Liam Cavanagh's reaction to her arrest and after all, it was Leanna who tried to warn the villagers what Maya was like long before we saw her true colours. Will it emerge that Maya has done this before?

Now it's out in the open it wouldn't surprise me if it turns out that Maya has done this before. #Emmerdale

— Penn Wooding (@BrixhamUK) May 22, 2019

Going to guess that this grooming #Emmerdale storyline will finally end with the revelation that Maya has done this before and that Maya isn’t her name.

Yes, I watch Emmerdale. 🐏🐄🐓

— Jim Doran (@jai_dee) May 22, 2019

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Maya must have previous form surely?? Jacob can't be her first victim 🤔 #Emmerdale

— pollyk (@joy9kat) February 28, 2019

3. Laurel and Jai set to be Emmerdale's next big romance

Charlotte Bellamy as Laurel Thomas in Emmerdale

ITV

Forget Robron, Coira or Vanity – could Emmerdale's next biggest ship be Jaurel? After Laurel's disastrous affair with Bob, are producers lining up her next romance with another unlikely admirer? Fans think they've spotted sparks in the Sharma sweet factory between Jai and Laurel, and they've certainly been spending more time together in recent months.

Since Jai's last relationship with con artist Nell ended badly, he's been on his own and even actor Chris Bisson expressed interest in Jai having a bit of happiness. What do you reckon, could that be with Laurel?

Anyone else getting the feeling that Laurel and Jai are going to end up together? #Emmerdale

— Anzi (@Monkey_Moom) April 10, 2019

Is it me or are we getting Jai & Laurel vibe? 😊 #Emmerdale

— Sulagna (@maitra_sulagna) April 10, 2019

Think there's going to be a Jai and Laurel romance.. #Emmerdale @ITV

— Eleri (@EleriEdwards) March 21, 2019

4. Moira or Cain will cheat

Moira Dingle in Emmerdale

It hasn't gone unnoticed that things have been strained between Cain and Moira of late. With Cain spending more time with ex-flame Harriet, and Moira left to confide in new farmhand Nate, even the couple themselves seem to be aware they've hit a rough patch. With frostiness at Butler's and each of them spending more alone time with others, could this be a sign that Coira are doomed to split?

Theories circulating have predicted Cain might return to the arms of Harriet again or Nate's attraction to an older woman might mean he'll bunk up with Moira.

But Coira fans might not need to worry too much yet as actor Jeff Hordley's recent interview on This Morning suggested Cain and Moira are solid. Unless this was just to throw us off the scent...

I really don't understand where emmerdale going with the Cain/Harriet and Moira/Nate. I just know they love messing the Cain and Moria fans around. I just want them to have a decent storyline. Not in involving exs. I'm not worried about Coria they love each other ☺☺☺#Emmerdale

— Royal Princess Alice Rinderette 😘😘😘😘😊😊 (@WoodhouseAlice) May 16, 2019

Still can't help but feel the writers of emmerdale are going to split Coira up .Cain getting close to Harriet and then Moira cosies up to Nate not feeling positive but normally turns out ok

— Coirafanatic (@Lunascatcat) May 19, 2019

5. Is Mandy Dingle dying?

Chas Dingle attacks Mandy Dingle in Emmerdale

ITV

You might think the Dingles have had enough tragedy in recent times, but that doesn't stop fans speculating that there's more on the way. When Mandy Dingle returned earlier this year, she hinted that she hadn't revealed her biggest secret, and left without another word. While some fans predicted that her son Vinny could be Paddy's, others had more heartbreaking ideas.

Could Mandy's real secret be a terminal illness? Was her brief visit to Emmerdale to set up a later story where she makes peace with her family and comes home to die? Whatever Mandy's secret, we'd love to see Lisa Riley back in the village – her fun return was all too brief.

Is Mandy ill?? #Emmerdale

— All About Soap & Reality (@about_soap) January 8, 2019

6. Jamie's mystery caller is Joe Tate

Alexander Lincoln as Jamie Tate in Emmerdale

ITV

There's no better way to get soap fans speculating than by throwing in a mystery phone call. Newcomer Jamie Tate has so far seemed nice as pie compared to his mother Kim, despite being embroiled in a car accident in his first week. Nevertheless, Jamie seemed clean cut until we saw he was hiding a secret – twelve missed calls.

Fans' thoughts immediately turned to Joe, once presumed dead and now AWOL somewhere in the world. Could it be him who's trying to get in touch with his estranged uncle? Or is there someone else desperate to get in touch with Jamie?

I bet you that’s joe ringing jamie #emmerdale

— 🌚 (@nottjayy) May 16, 2019

Did anyone else notice Jamie having missed calls from an unknown number? It's Joe Tate!!! He's coming home! 😀

— Dan (@DanONeil95) May 16, 2019

7. Adam Barton will make a return to the village

Victoria and Adam Barton fear Pete has threatened their adoption chances in Emmerdale

After Victoria's rape ordeal, we've only just begun to watch her heartbreaking story. But some viewers are already predicting there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Could a return of Victoria's ex-husband Adam Barton give her back some happiness?

We've seen how much Victoria misses him and with actor Adam Thomas reportedly keen to return, we wouldn't rule it out. But just what would this mean for Moira and her killer secret?

@emmerdale I think Victoria will keep the baby and Adam returns #Emmerdale

— Tam LizAnn ODriscoll (@tamlizann) May 9, 2019

Victoria will give the baby to Robert and Aaron and go in search of Adam her true love

— helen (@Helenwo21468879) May 10, 2019

Emmerdale airs weeknights on ITV.

[unextordinary-blog]

My year in one post: 2017

okay so its starting to get closer to the end of the year lets have a recap of 2017.

january: I don't have a job anymore, I am not going to school at the moment, I am moving for the hundredth time, and I have to give up my dog and cat, then someone loses my cat. ( so its safe to say january was definitely not my month) but bright side this is the month where i start to talk to my "future" husband. well sort of (this will be explained in a later month).

february: so it's a new month. I am jobless with no prospect of going back to school until the next semester. on top of that our landlords are total pieces of literal dog shit (like im not kidding they have about 5000 dogs in their house and it smells like dog shit) anyways life is starting to look up JUST THE TINIEST BIT because ya girl got a date. i am dating. newly dating. and on top of that i still don't know that my future husband is single yet. (he doesn't like the idea of me dating)

march: we have officially moved into my moms boyfriends house and i already hate it. Its awful i have no closet, no space, no job, no pets, and no will to live (except for my future husband). Its safe to say my life lowkey sucks because not only do i have a curfew now? I have to pretend to not hate my life and i actually have to get out of the bedroom im staying in (yea thats right im not allowed to call his guest bedroom "my room") my moms boyfriend is a total dickwad. he gets what he deserves in later months tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( WAIT A MINUTE I just got some info that karma was doing her job all along and i completely forgot part of living with my momster and her dickwad was that I had to do all the chores around the house and dickwad left $200 in his pocket when i was doing laundry and i found it. in my defense i tried to tell them about the money but then they got on my ass for talking to them while they were talking or something so i shut up and spent some of the money on a tattoo. it was the best revenge ever. I had been planning on getting one for months and dickwad and momster HATE tattoos and he technically paid for mine and it was great)

April: HOMAGAWD my life is looking up. I got a job, my "future" husband is visiting and the guy I'm kinda sorta "dating" is a good kisser but i swear to y'all if i hadn't already been on like 4 dates with this guy i would have thought he was catfishing me (he ends up ghosting me anyways so whatevesss). My momster and her dickwad of a boyfriend don't like my new job because it doesn't pay a whole lot? ( oh i forgot to mention they want me to pay rent for the "bedrooom" I'm sleeping in; y'all this room is literally a bed, a dresser drawer, and MY TV) ALSO did i mention this guy is total pack rat (THE BEDROOM IM IN HAS ALLLL OF HIS JUNK IN IT) and there's no central heating and I'm sick. I have bronchitis and we barely found out. meanwhile my supposed "mother" thought I was just being annoying with my coughing and her stupid boyfriend literally had the AUDACITY to tell me if I don't get rid of my cough by the end of the week then he was going to "do something about it". (LIKE IM SORRY I HAVE BRONCHITIS IF I COULD WAVE MY MAGIC WAND THAT I JUST RANDOMLY PULLED OUT OF MY ARSE AND MAKE MYSELF BETTER I WOULD SORRY MY ILLNESS IS INCONVENIENCING YOU). this man is weird he has like every book written by trump and is a civil war reenactor and has can goods from before I was even born because he doesn't believe in expiration dates. so I didn't want to find out what he meant by that so I booked the quickest doctors appointment I could get. I had been sick for 3 months by this point. also I paid over half the rent at my old place but I was always making like $1000 a month sooooo I could afford it. anyways my "future" husband and I have an amazing 3 days when he visits it was like no time had passed and it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that I couldn't live without him anymore.

May: ITS OFFICIAL BITCHES my "future" husband is now my boyfriend, it literally took him an hour for me to say he was my boyfriend. twas a struggle. but pretty much since the day he left we hadn't gone a single day without talking via text or calling each other. we thought about waiting until he came back to texas to date, but that would be two years and we weren't having that because we would have ended up waiting for each other instead of dating long distance which is kinda a waste of time. anyways I am no longer sick. at least I don't think and karma is just DOING ITS WORK on my mom and her dickwad boyfriend. My mom was being treated like she deserved by her new job and dickwad had lost his chief position because hes an alcoholic asshole with little man syndrome now he is paying over $10,000 for a DWI lawyer. meanwhile i was thriving I was getting more work I was looking into ways to pay off my school my life still sucked and the only reason im alive is because of my "future" husband.

June: did i ever mention that june is my favorite month of this year. love is in the air bitches. june is the month for marriages and engagements. SPEAKING OF ENGAGEMENTS yea that's right he proposed AND ON TOP OF THAT he surprised me with a visit and i nearly had a heart attack and it was a great few days. then my momster ruined it by being her and by hating me as per usual we weren't asking for permission at this point to get married we were just going to get married whether she agreed or not. and i was moving out and my "future" husband and i had a 101 plans (also i dont like the word fiance its dirty and gross) our 101 plans obviously fell through you can plan all day long and life is just like "LOL gurl you thought" but it all turned out fine in and in our favor in the end. we are very thankful for the people who stuck by our side when things were getting tough and sooo grateful for all their help we wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

JULY: ITS OUR WEDDDDINNNGGG MONNNTTTTHHHHHHH!!!!!! I had never thought "hey you're going to be my husband one day" when I saw my husband for the first time in the 2nd grade. he apparently did, he thought i was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and was happy i had moved to his town. that innocent love obviously turned into something more as we got older and he always knew that something special would happen with us there had to be a reason God had kept us close all those years. we were married july 10th in a court house with our high school friends my momster and her dickwad boyfriend and my new family that consisted of my husbands parents and siblings while my maid of honor watch via facetime (she had work and the ceremony lasted like 20 mins) leading up to our wedding he "proposed" properly on the couch while we were watching a movie and his best friend was so upset that he was not included in the proposal. we promised to include him on our 5 year anniversary at our vow renewal. we were married on the 10th we had our honeymoon that night in galveston. on the 11th we went to our best mans house, watched hoarders all morning, played ping pong, went to go see a movie with our old clique from high school, slept on a too small air mattress with a too small blanket in freezing cold room and woke up early. he dropped me off at my momsters and we said our teary eyed goodbyes and said we'd see each other again in december and I watched him drive away to the air port. I turned 20 the next week and I had 1 good day then on the 18th my mom decided to yell at me and fight me about money (remember how i said i was trying to pay off my college stuff well my mom knew that. it was no secret. well i found a way and i had gotten the money the week i got married and i paid it off and put the rest in savings and refused to touch it) well my mom yelled at me until she was blue in the face because since dickwad fucked up his finances with his DWI they were now strapped for cash and wanted me to pay for everything and I refused. just because we said I'd move in december doesn't mean plans are set in stone and if I would have paid them in advance I would have never seen that money again. the risks were to high for me to pay that much in one sitting. so we argued on the 18th she didn't talk to me for two days then on the 21st she gave me an ultimatum and told me to pay or get out. meanwhile my husband and I were thinking ahead and I was already packing and by the 22nd all i had in the bedroom i slept in was a duffel bag of clothes and hamper full of my bedding I told her i was moving out on the 23rd on a sunday and by the time they got home from church me and everything i had would be gone from that house. remember my husbands best man and best friend and the small air mattress and cold bedroom?

August: they both had a house together and that was the house i stayed in until the second week or two of august i spent almost a week with my dad and his family so i could say my goodbyes. i came back to the guys house for 2 days finished packing said my goodbyes to all my friends and then my dad was there with a jeep for all my stuff and we would start our long trip to VA. the first day we drove from TX to atlanta then the next day atlanta to VA.

I was finally home. there he was my knight in blue digital camo. we'd only been married a month and already our plans were askew. my dad stayed for 2 extra days and helped us get settled into our new apartment then left.

september: we are 2 months into our marriage and our first month living together. these next two months will be the hardest months in our marriage. we're getting used to each other getting to know our homelife quirks it is a difficult transition for both of us I am used to an abusive passive aggressive household where i lock myself in my room and he is used to empty barracks and going out everyday just so he doesn't have to be in the barracks all day. it was hard but we wouldn't want to bicker over mundane things with anyone else.

October: its spoopy time and my husbands birthday is this month we have a tv and new bed for our master bedroom we have a cat but Im pretty sure we got him in september. we're not really fighting as much at least not about stupid things we know what pushes our buttons and we're communicating better. I have to turn down my first job because its too far of a drive. ( we immediately regret it) the hubs 21st birthday rolls around we have the worst mexican food ever and he has the strongest margarita in the world it was really a great night. Halloween we sit on the couch watching movies and just stay in all day.

November: my husbands family have informed us that his little brother will be graduating from boot camp this month and will be going to school on a base in VA and that they were coming for thanksgiving. so we get the house in order for our new guests. we buy everything from a thanksgiving ham to new towels when they arrive his parents are sick with the flu and my husband still has work the next day on thanksgiving. his mom and i spend the entire next day cooking and getting everything ready. when my husband gets home we have dinner and watch a movie or two. the next day is my husbands day off and we all had planned on eating out so we had lunch then went to the beach for his mom and then my husbands base to give a tour for his mom (insert eyeroll here the woman takes pictures of quite literally everything its almost annoying)and then finally we go back home so we can get his little brothers stuff and we can drop him off at his new base. (which is a whole lot more difficult then it should have been.) they end up giving him a weekend pass but by then we're all dead tired and want to go home but no, we go bowling on base until its time to take his little brother back to the barracks. then the next day is even more annoying my husband picks up his little brother and some breakfast and we trudge to a museum of an old ship for about 2 or 3 hours. keep in mind my husbands parents are still sick with the flu and everyone is tired except his little brother and my husband has work at 3am the next day. on top of that his parents need to get on a plane this same day and my husband and i need to drop off his little brother back on base. needless to say it was another long day and we finally had our house back my poor husband had work at 3am and around 9am i hear him come home apparently since he didn't leave early on thanksgiving he got to leave work early that day which meant we got the entire sunday to ourselves. it was a long weekend.

December: its only the 13th and we have been married for 5 months now and it will almost be a year since we started dating. (how time flies) his best man is supposed to visit in january and we are both so excited.

so much little stuff has happened this year that would make this post even longer. we got a motorcycle, my husband is trying to pick out a car for me i thought about doing online college, we both haven't really thought about what we want for christmas and our cat has fleas so its been a very eventful year.